Michelle Visage

Celebrity Big Bother

Back in the day, I loved Celebrity Big Brother and the civilian series too. It was trashy, fun, intense, dramatic, real and surreal all at once. Channel Five have done a great job of recapturing that essence with the two series I have, as some people would consider, ‘deigned’ to watch since it moved from Channel Four. That’s why I’m devoting this post to talking about this series and it’s absurdly brilliant yet frustrating housemates.

Katie Hopkins and Perez Hilton are the two stand-out housemates this year as they’ve come to blows time and time again. Let’s get one thing clear; they’re both arseholes. Who’s the bigger arsehole? Well, I’ll answer that in due course but it’s definitely worth remembering that they’re both arseholes and both professional wind up merchants. There seems to be three camps in the house; Team Hopkins consisting of Katie H, Michelle, Cami and probably Calum just about. Team Hilton is Perez, Nadia, Alicia and just about Patsy. Finally, there’s Team Snore fronted by Kavana, Katie P and Cheggers.

Let’s pick them off one-by-one. Katie P is harmless, she is absolutely filthy and maybe shouldn’t be disclosing the naughty secrets of her ex-husbands to relative strangers on national television but they shouldn’t be arseholes either. Kavana is the ultimate bore, he seriously does nothing and I would not miss him should he disappear and neither would Cheggers, who is nice enough and occasionally funny but too a bit drab.

Now on to Team Hilton. Patsy is wonderful. Bizarrely juxtaposed as irreversibly repressed yet uber calm, a lovely woman who seems to be as close to allergic to noise and conflict as one could be, I actually want her to win due to the sheer lack of truly likable characters this year. Alicia is sweet but naive, she gets a bit touchy about the process of the show but fundamentally, she’s a nice person and more than capable of standing up to Katie Hopkins. Nadia too is wonderful, whilst loud and abrasive at the start and perhaps even hard to like, her moral compass and conviction in standing up for what’s right should earn her more plaudits than it does.

Team Katie are slightly more divided in my view; Calum is an inconsistent dud, painfully boring even though he’s finally been coerced in to picking on Alicia. Cami is a horrible brat, vicious, conniving, underhanded and nasty, she thinks she’s untouchable but one day someone will put her in her place. Michelle is false, not in the sense that she’s deliberately two-faced but she’s not who she says she is. She’s not a defender of the outcast and she isn’t the beacon of moral objectivity and guardianship. She was so promising but she’s been Hopkinised which is a true shame.

Now to the other two. And here’s my answer to the earlier question; Katie Hopkins. Katie Hopkins is the bigger arsehole. Yes, Perez Hilton is an irritant, a narcissistic, depraved, sad and at times vile individual who will go to any means to get attention. He, like Katie H too have their good sides that we have seen from time to time too but let’s focus on the controversy. Perez acts this way for attention, I assume he feels like an outcast that Michelle supposedly represents and has no idea whatsoever what to do with it. He shouts so loud and acts so vibrantly because he doesn’t think he’s seen and that doesn’t come across well to others. I don’t buy Nadia’s protestations that all of Perez’s acting out is due to the wall of hate he experiences from the housemates, but I’m certain it’s part of the reason.

Katie Hopkins on the other hand is vicious, she’s taken a disliking to Perez, and I can’t blame her for that, he’s said and done some out of line things. Such as taunting Alexander O’Neal and calling Katie herself ‘homophobic’  which was possibly unfair at time but has since been proven to have some merit since she gloated about her kids having two parents unlike Perez’s son. I wonder if she boasted in front of the loving family she broke up by stealing her children’s other parent? Too, she wasn’t exactly outraged when Alexander O’Neal blasted Perez as an ‘ass faggot’ and neither was self-professed ‘LGBTQ champ’ Michelle Visage for that matter. The point is is that she is visibly obsessed with Perez, constantly seeking him out to hurl her tirades of abusive, unkind comments at him, well just because she can. It’s the most petulant emnity I’ve ever seen; kiss blowing, tongue wagging, name calling, threat making etc. She smacks of an insecure woman, who takes out her complexes on others, it would certainly explain why any praise reduces her to a blubbering wreck. Both of their pathetic crusades to recruit floating housemates in to their gang is sad, as is Katie Hopkins’ destruction of house property, threats against physical well-being and her columns that bash the housemates she’s too afraid to criticise to their face. Alicia Douvall summed Katie up brilliantly a few days ago; ‘if she’s so smart then why does she have to make a career by being nasty?’. She’s malicious to put it plainly, she possesses minimal quick wit and has continually embarrassed herself on the programme. Both of these two morons have a lot of issues to work out but they don’t allow themselves to process that and instead have both manifested an inflated ego that they’ve convinced themselves to believe in. They’re both twats but the fact is is that Perez Hilton is Katie Hopkins-ing Katie Hopkins and she has no idea how to deal with it.

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