Edie Britt

TV Characters We Would All Hate In Real-Life

Joey Tribbiani

Frustrating… Matt Le Blanc as Joey Tribbiani

To be honest, I hate him anyway. I’ve never understood his appeal but to some people, he’s the funniest character on Friends. I doubt the general public would be as loving of him if they knew him in real life. For a start, he is stupid and although it can be charming, he must be frustrating to deal with seeing as he cannot grasp simple conversations. He’s sleazy, sleeping with and then ditching multiple women with no remorse and he often barges in to Monica and Chandler’s apartment demanding food and freeloads off of them in general. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the whole French debacle.

Eric Cartman

Chickenlover

Respect My Authoritah… Evil Eric Cartman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is there to say? We all love watching him on South Park but let’s not lose sight of the fact he’s a horrible little kid. He regularly exhibits racist and anti-semitic views, he tricked Butters in to thinking the world was ending so he could go to Kyle’s party in his place, he tried to exterminate the Jews, he injected Kyle with AIDs and he killed a boy’s parents and then made them in to a chilli that the boy unknowingly ate. A very sick individual that I’m sure none of us would like to know.


Ted Mosby

Let it go… Nobody is sure why Ted continues to pester Robin

It says a lot that the main character of a five-piece ensemble cast is the show’s least popular. The whole concept of How I Met Your Mother is based around Ted telling his kids the lengthy story of how he met their mother. Unfortunately, he is sidetracked by a whole lot of neediness, pathetic pining for ‘the one’, despite only being in his twenties. The whole Ted and Robin relationship is the most draining and irritating one to ever take place on the small screen, and since we love Sparkles so much, we blame it on Ted. We’re then left scratching our heads as to why he tells his kids about his various sexual conquests too. He just seems unbearably in need of constant emotional support.

Brian Griffin

Brian Griffin

Smug… Family Guy‘s Brian (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The epitome of ‘liberal douche’ is Brian Griffin. I’m not against Liberalism, I’m actually a Liberal myself but the insufferable way Brian goes on about his political and moral views like he’s some sort of prophet is very irritating. Quagmire sums it up best when he calls him out for pretending to be smart when really he isn’t all that. Plus, if his pompous attitude isn’t enough to turn you off, he’s also a dog, nobody wants to be condescended to by a canine.

Piper Chapman

Naive… OITNB’s Piper in puppet form

If you’ve seen Netflix’s drama sensation Orange is the New Black then you’ll know what an anti-hero Piper Chapman is. She is the show’s protagonist and from the start, we are led to feel sorry for her but then she starts putting her foot in her mouth far too frequently and getting herself in to all sorts of problems that causes us to abandon her. And whenever she is forced to defend herself, she naively states that ‘she never meant for any of this to happen’, will she ever learn?

Charlie Harper

Promiscuous… Charlie Harper

Like Joey Tribbiani, Charlie Harper is a heartless lothario who shows no remorse for the many, many, many women he has wronged – it’s no wonder one of them pushed him in front of a train. And is it me or does he never actually seem to be working?  I don’t watch Two and a Half Men as much as the other shows referenced in this list but I’m certain I would much rather live with Ashton Kutcher.

Susan Delfino

Cutesy… Teri Hatcher as Susan Delfino

Okay, we liked her ditzy antics in the first season of Desperate Housewives and the other housewives seem to tolerate her but I like to think I’d treat her with the same contempt that Edie Britt does.  She’s slyly selfish, constantly putting her needs before others, shown perfectly by her desire to rely on her teenage daughter, Julie for empathy. Her cutesy act would quickly wear thin as would her clumsiness and her apparent inability to keep hold of Mike, the ‘love of her life’. Urgh, she should have been fried by a power line – not Edie.

Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson

Compulsive liar… NPH as Barney Stinson (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You’d have to include Barney for the same reason as Joey Tribbiani and Charlie Harper. He is an absolutely nightmare to women. He uses them for sex and then chucks them plus his compulsive lying would make him exhausting to be around. He’s the sort of person you’d have out grown in high school but may keep him around because you feel sorry for him.

The Non-Conformist View of TV Characters

When you look at the popular sitcoms; Friends, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory etc., you can instantly say which characters from these respective shows are the most adulated. For instance, I can say with confidence that of the aforementioned shows, Joey Tribbiani, Barney Stinson and Sheldon Cooper are the most popular among the masses. But why does the common viewer find them so engaging?

Popular… Joey is one of TV’s most favoured characters despite his many personality flaws.

If I run with the three characters I’ve already selected then we can see huge flaws in each’s personality. Starting with Joey, he is moronic, selfish and gluttonous. He often acts with little thought for consequence and goes in to Monica & Chandler’s apartment with the sole intention of gorging himself on their inventory.  Barney Stinson is similarly self-centered. He also shows signs of narcissism not to mention his horrendous promiscuity, a characteristic he shares with Joey too. Sheldon is not comparable with either predecessor in that way, but from what I have seen of The Big Bang Theory (which isn’t that much), he is conceited and cold towards people, even his friends. For all their criticisms, these characters each have positives to go with them but it certainly does make you wonder whether the average viewer would warm to them as much if they knew them in real-life. I do actually like Barney’s character for the most part and can see why people are drawn to this larger-than-life, abnormal persona that they present – entertainment. But at the same time, isn’t it kind of irresponsible to promote such negative personality traits?

Authentic… Lynette’s palpable realism is not rewarded in fans.

Like I say, I do like some of these popular characters but in all honesty, I tend to favour the underdogs of television. A list of some of my favourite TV characters in recent times consists of Super Claire Dunphy, Lynette Scavo, Edie Britt, Jane Kerkovich-Williams, Robin Scherbatsky. What do you notice? All female, all usually unpopular. Now, I don’t really think gender has any dictation on my preference of TV character – it’s merely a coincidence. But what I do see from this list is realism. These could all be real people. If I walk down the street, I could easily bump in to one of these characters. I’m not going to come across a suit worshipper, a ridiculously imbecilic lothario or a big-headed physics snob. Personally, I like to be able to relate to the characters on screen, I like to see myself and others in them. Lynette Scavo and Claire Dunphy are frighteningly realistic and could represent 70% of mothers in Western society, something that cannot be said of their eccentric co-stars. Other characters such as Edie Britt and Robin Scherbatsky, although presented as strong independent women have so much depth and vulnerability especially for two shows that rely on comedic elements.

To be frank, I can’t really fathom why these brain-dead, offbeat types are preferred to the brilliantly observed realistic characters on the box. I think you have to appreciate how much harder it is to write a character in a relatable way. It’s easy to exaggerate mannerisms and actions of a character to the point it becomes ridiculous but to pair the dramatic twists and turns of the small screen with believable characters is well and truly skillful. In fact, it’s a surprise in a generation fascinated by reality TV that these characters are less welcomed but maybe it’s because we hate the fact that these characters remind us… of us.

Desperate Housewives – Top 5 Episodes

In honour of the passing of Desperate Housewives I have compiled a list of my top 5 episodes.

5 – Down The Block, There’s a Riot (Season 7, Episode 10)

In the ultimate ‘disaster episode’ of the series. The street is rocked by a riot that erupts due to Paul Young’s plan to introduce a half-way house on to Wisteria Lane. In the resulting fracas, Susan is badly trampled and Paul Young is shot.

Riot… Susan is crushed by protesters.

4 – Pilot (Season 1, Episode 1)

You know it’s a good pilot when a major character is dead within the opening sixty seconds and that’s what happens when Mary Alice’s warm commentary opens up an 8-year-journey packed with scandal, secrets and desperation.

First meeting… the housewives toast Mary Alice.

3 – Bang (Season 3, Episode 7)

In the show’s first ever ‘disaster episode’. Carolyn Bigsby holds a cluster of people hostage in a supermarket including Lynette Scavo and Julie Mayer. This episode is packed with tension and drama, particularly during the death of Nora Huntingdon. However, this episode is perhaps most memorable for the most chilling scene of the series, Lynette’s final dream of Mary Alice.

Wronged… Carolyn Bigsby prepares to shoot Nora.

2 – Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know (Season 5, Episode 18)

The penultimate episode on the countdown is that which follows the death of Edie Britt. This episode provides a unique look at one of the show’s most dimensional and entertaining characters before she is given a poignant send-off with the scattering of her ashes around Wisteria Lane.

Pensive… Edie predicts her premature death.

1  The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened (Season 5, Episode 13)

The winner of Desperate Housewives best ever episode goes to the 100th episode of the show. The episode is based around handyman, Eli Scruggs and the housewives’ remembering the things he did to help them before he died. The show incorporates charming flashbacks tying previous storylines together in a wonderful self-praising sixty minutes.

Handyman… Mary Alice meets Eli Scruggs.

Desperately Disappointing

Desperate Housewives signed off after a successful 8-year-reign on ABC with it’s 2 hour finalé which aired in the States last night.

The show is often credited for ‘changing television history’ and is constantly praised as ‘iconic’.  You’d think having started off with a bang  (the suicide of Mary Alice Young) the finale would go out in the same manner? Well it didn’t,  it went with a pathetic whimper. The show has been declining in the ratings for years and after the dross, Marc Cherry served up last night. It was almost complimentary for the series finalé to have averaged 11.23 million viewers (40 million less than ‘Friends’).

Kiss them goodbye…The housewives have one last poker game

The show explores story arcs of the four main housewives and Renee and Karen;

Bree’s trial is in full swing and more and more evidence is being stacked against her; Ben is reluctant to answer any questions and Renee’s testimony reveals that she saw Bree return from the woods after she had buried Alejandro.
Gaby and Carlos are preparing to reveal the truth when Karen McCluskey overhears and subsequently ‘confesses’ to killing Alejandro in what can only be described as the best moment of the finalé.
Bree spends the second hour spurring the advances of her lawyer, Tripp only for her to go back on her decision and settle (I stress that) with her final love interest.

Susan spends the first hour serving no real purpose. It is revealed that she is hoping to move away from Wisteria Lane sooner rather than later and Lee has already been enlisted to help her sell. Despite, the odd attempt to hide her plans from her friends she is merely a bystander for the first hour.
During the second hour, Susan is seen frantically rescuing her daughter from giving birth in the back of a limousine and spends a solitary couple of minutes pondering her future with her daughter, Julie.

Lynette’s storyline is perhaps the most predictable albeit necessary of the episodes. She finally gets back together with Tom to close part 1 – ‘Give Me The Blame’.
She is then slapped with a CEO job offer in New York from returning, Katherine Mayfair. She ponders the decision and after a run-in with the same woman she runs in to in the supermarket from the pilot. However, she realises that Tom and her family are all she needs to be truly happy,  a delightful coming together for the show’s most realistic character.

Gaby spends the finale as we’ve become accustomed to seeing her in the last few seasons; quietly cracking jokes and mischievously pushing the plot along. Her ending is like Lynette’s, anticipated but appropriate. The viewers are treated to a happy ending in which Carlos and Gaby quietly bicker in to their old age, but they don’t have a particularly big part to play in the finale.

Elsewhere on the lane, the writers devote far too much time to Renee Perry and her wedding. ‘Edie Lite’ is seen on screen perhaps as much as the four main characters. Something, I thought inappropriate for a series finale. In direct contrast,  the death of Karen McCluskey was treated with grace and dignity.

With all this going on it’s easy to forget the delightful first meeting of Martha Huber and Mary Alice at the start of ‘Finishing the Hat’. It was just what the finale needed to boost any absent feeling of nostalgia.

However, in what could have been described thus far as a more than satisfactory series finalé. Marc Cherry left his audience not with a tingling down the spine but more a tingling slap to the face as a great TV show was dealt the injustice of this poor coup de grâce.

The final scenes depicted the four girls having their last ever poker game before vowing to keep in touch, however it is swiftly revealed that this promise was in vein. Omniscient narrator, Mary Alice then treats us to three flash-forwards revealing that Lynette moves to New York with Tom and the pair go on to have  six grandchildren. Gaby opens her own shop and becomes a presenter for the Home Shopping Network and Bree moves to Louisville with Tripp, where she is eventually voted on to the State Legislature. There is no denying that these endings are apt for where the characters started back in 2004. Lynette reaches the top of the corporate ladder, Gaby and Carlos are living the high life in a Californian mansion and Bree is paraded as the proud Republican she is.

The scene then switches back to Susan, the first to leave Wisteria Lane; she welcomes new housewife Jennifer and assures her that Wisteria Lane is far from boring. Susan then leaves before taking one last drive around the neighbourhood, as she is surrounded by endless cameos of dead characters from George Williams to Nora Huntingdon, Mike Delfino to Mary Alice Young, all clad in white during the tackiest moment of the series. This, accompanied by Mary Alice’s final poignant narration should have closed the show but instead Cherry chose to present one final cliffhanger as Jennifer is shown looking distressed as she hides a box in her cupboard whilst Mary Alice reminds us that “no secret stays hidden.”

Overlooked… Mary Alice didn’t wrap up proceedings.

What Went Right 

  • Bree avoided prison.
  • Lynette and Tom were reunited.
  • The conclusion of Lynette’s journey as a character.
  • The inclusion of Martha and Mary Alice’s first meeting.
  • The charming montage to Johnny Mathis’ ‘Wonderful! Wonderful!’

What Went Wrong 

  • The exclusion of Lynette, Gaby and Bree in the ultimate scene.
  • Ending on a cliffhanger rather than a poignant Mary Alice quote.
  • Bree settling for Tripp.
  • The girls leaving Wisteria Lane.
  • The unnecessary re-brand of Katherine’s character.
  • The tacky ghosts.
  • Not enough Mary Alice Young – The show didn’t come full circle.
  • The absence of Edie Britt, one of the show’s most popular characters.
  • The rushed, contrived and poorly elaborated finish.

Episode rating: 6/10 – I was expecting a lot better. Perhaps because it was a series finalé and my expectations are high or maybe because Marc Cherry has known how it was going to end for 8 years and he never realised just how awful his plan was.