A funny thing happens in my family, every time I ‘come out’ (cringe) to a relative. The next time they see me, they don’t usually say anything, they just hug me for a little longer and give me a kiss on the cheek. It’s a very strange trend I’ve noticed but it’s really quite sweet nonetheless. I don’t really know why, but people seem a bit obsessed with sexuality, especially when you’re not heterosexual. Here are just a few things that people tend to ask me and what I usually say. Who knows, maybe in the future, I can use this as some kind of FAQ or directory.
How long have you known?
For ages, I don’t know how long. This is a funny one really. I’ve known since I was young, that’s all I can say really.
How did you know?
I assume I knew in the exact same way heterosexual people do. When, I reached puberty, my attractions for other boys developed and that was it. There was never an “oh my god, I’m gay” moment. In fact, it didn’t even really register that my attractions were different to most people – that’s quite lovely if you think about it. A lot of people have actually been surprised, mostly because I’m not effeminate. Apparently, stereotypes are still prevalent.
Who did you tell first?
A friend when I was thirteen, then more friends, then my Mum, my other immediate family and then the rest of my family. It’s all about with who it would be less awkward not closeness. Well, for me anyway.
How did you come out?
In different ways, I told my parents through letters and my sister whilst drunk. A lot of my friends were told face-to-face or even online, and my parents each told lots of other relatives. I’m sure a plethora of people found out via my Twitter account.
Do you want to get married/have a family?
This is a bit of a silly question for me right now anyway, because I’m nineteen but yeah, I suppose so.
Are you ‘proud’?
A lot of people say that they’re “out and proud”. I don’t really understand that. I’m not proud to be homosexual. I’m not really proud of any of my innate characteristics, they’re not accomplishments so why would I be? I’m proud to be contented with myself and to normalise this topic like many people have told me I have. I’m proud that I never struggled with it, not that anyone should be ashamed if they do or did.